how do i pick who is on my wedding guest list?

There is always the stress of deciding who would be a good fit on your wedding guest list and who would make the entire day a literal joke. Everyone doesn’t want the tension of upsetting people but well that is inevitable. Also, between you and your partner you probably know a hell of a lot more people than you both anticipated. So, let’s talk about some ways to cut those unwanted people out. 

Divide and Conquer

Start by setting your total guest count, then setting aside you, your parents, and your future in-laws. Some people give each set of people 25%. So you and your partner have 50%, your set of family has 25%, and then your partner’s family also has 25%. Once each group picks their most wanted people at the wedding you then go through all the lists and eliminate the people that you absolutely know you do not want to be there. But you have to remember this is your day not anyone else’s so you are allowed to say “HELL NO,” to anyone that you want. 

Add Plus Ones

Your friends and family are all in different stages of being in a relationship and that is something to consider when making your list. There is where you have the opportunity to draw the line for certain people and say no. You can make a rule that if they haven’t been dating longer than 6 months then they aren’t invited to the wedding. That is the fun part even if it is upsetting, it is your wedding don’t let anyone walk over you for your decision because well it is YOUR CHOICE, nobody else’s. 

Set a Deadline

Making a deadline on RSVP’s is also another way to eliminate the amount of guests that are coming. You can put on your invitation a specific date that you need to hear back from the person and if you do not hear back in time, then sayonara! There are deadlines with caterers and vendors and none of them want to be trying to make last minute changes when the family of 7 RSVP at the absolute last minute. So, settling deadlines is definitely a good way to cut down on the guest list. 

Make a Kid Policy

Creating a kid policy can sometimes cause issues within themselves. Some people can’t find babysitters, or they are too young to be left for any amount of time. But, once again that is another time when putting your foot down is a good option. You have to be consistent with everyone otherwise it will cause unwanted stress to you which isn’t necessary. Sometimes people also put a cut off point. If the kids are 14 and older they are allowed to attend the wedding however anyone younger isn’t welcome due to the fact of causing distractions or just making things even more rambunctious. Just be sure to add that to the invitations so there aren’t any people that bring their kids when they are permitted because we all know that can be very annoying. If you want kids at your wedding then you are also more than welcome to have kids at your wedding. It is 100% your choice. 

Mia Family Members

If you haven’t spoken to some of your relatives in years, don’t feel like you have to invite them to your wedding. Remember, your wedding is a celebration of you, the person you are marrying, and your immediate family; it is not a family reunion. Even if your immediate family is upset about the relatives you aren’t inviting, set those boundaries, they will get over it! If there are a bunch of random people in your family tree on both sides that are invited, I am sure that your wedding will be a shit show!

Work Friends/ Neighbors

Although you want to share your wedding day with everyone there are some people you really do not need to invite. Some of those people could be your super friendly yet overbearing neighbors that always seem to be around. Also, once you invite one neighbor it could get out and next thing you know all your neighbors are at your door asking why they didn’t get invited and next thing you know every person on your block is now attending. Here is to adding 100 more people that do not need to be there. Another group of people that do not need to be invited are work friends. Yes, everyone has their click at work and you have the people that you spend lunch with and talk shit on the side with but are those the people that you want in your wedding pictures? I think not! Make those boundaries from the beginning and keep to them. Your neighbors plus the people from work lets add 125 unnecessary people to the wedding list. Screw that!!!

People of The Opposite Side of The Family You Have Never Met

You can’t really ignore the fact that on both sides of the family there will be people that you do not know. Your parents or your in-laws might add them to their list when they are making their wedding guest list. Those are the people that you say umm no thank you! If they are not in the same social circle as anyone that you have met before then what is the point? Do you really want to spend your entire reception meeting relatives that you didn’t know that you had? For instance you may have your fathers business partner in the guest list because they have a very strong relationship but you have never met them before. Just say no and go on about your day! If you don’t know them directly just take the time to spend the day with people that you know and appreciate. The other people can screw off and get over themselves. Today is about you and your partner, don’t let anyone take that from you.